Why do we treat sexuality as something to hide, even though it touches everything we do? Can understanding hookup culture tell us something deeper about gender, power, and the search for belonging?

Lisa Wade, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Sociology at Tulane University with joint appointments in Gender and Sexuality Studies and the Newcomb Institute. A leading scholar on gender, sexuality, and culture, she is best known for her groundbreaking book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus. Her research investigates how social norms and cultural expectations influence intimacy, identity, and pleasure, especially among young adults navigating the contradictions of modern society. Through her teaching and writing, she bridges academic research with public dialogue, inviting people to question the hidden assumptions behind our most personal experiences.

In this episode, Lisa and I explore how cultural scripts silently shape what we consider normal, acceptable, or valuable in relationships. We trace the history of hookup culture and examine how it emerged in the 1990s alongside shifts in feminism, neoliberalism, and social expectations about freedom. Lisa explains how this new culture redefined intimacy for a generation of young adults who are encouraged to be free and self-reliant, yet often left isolated and confused about emotional connection.

Our conversation uncovers the deep links between sexuality, power, and education. We discuss why students struggle to talk openly about desire, how shame has evolved into a new kind of pressure to appear “liberated,” and why kindness should be seen as a radical act in sexual encounters. Lisa offers a powerful lens for understanding how pleasure, gender, and freedom intertwine in both personal and political life, challenging us to imagine what true sexual liberation could mean when everyone’s humanity is fully seen.