What happens to desire, intimacy, and gender expectations when time itself reshapes the body and the self? Can growing older actually lead to greater freedom and deeper pleasure in how we experience connection?

Lisa R. Miller, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Sociology and Discipline Coordinator at Eckerd College. Her research examines gender, sexualities, intimate relationships, health, aging, and the life course. Through both qualitative and quantitative approaches, she explores how social structures, gendered norms, and cultural expectations shape our experiences of pleasure and identity across time. Her recent study, “Heterosexual Women’s Pleasure Trajectories: How Aging Helps Undo Gendered Sexual Scripts” (2025), reveals how growing older can actually liberate individuals from restrictive scripts and lead to more authentic sexual expression and self-understanding.

In this episode, Lisa and I explore what it means to age, not as decline, but as a reimagining of intimacy and desire. We discuss how women’s experiences of pleasure and selfhood change over the life course, why cultural silence around older sexuality persists, and how dismantling shame can foster empowerment at any age. Lisa shares her findings on how aging can undo the limitations of gendered expectations, transforming how people experience connection, confidence, and care.

We also touch on her work with LGBTQ+ communities, the politics of sexual health, and the intersections of age, identity, and wellbeing. Together, we unpack what it means to live a fully embodied life, to understand sexuality not as something that fades, but as something that evolves with us, deepening our capacity for joy, tenderness, and self-knowledge.